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A cool way to introduce Libervis.com :)

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memenode's picture
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I know this is loosely tied to a "What is Libervis" thread, but since it had its own direction and this one is more about carving a perfect "introduction" text I am posting this separately. So here is what just came to me as a short, well rounded yet precise way of describing Libervis.com. Smiling

"Seinfeld is a show about nothing. Libervis.com is a community about everything, with a twist - we all like technology, but dislike its use in ways that restrict our freedom. So we come together to recognize ways in which this could or is being done and counter them by our own initiatives.

This makes Libervis.com a project of building a community of technology enthusiasts and freedom lovers with many different world views and from a variety of occupations (from engineers and artists to philosophers and entrepreneurs) to cooperatively forge ideas and projects which use technology to promote, preserve or restore individual freedom. If you can recognize yourself as part of such a community, you're invited to help us build it.

The "help us build it" could link to a page which in a friendly way instructs them towards the first steps they could take, like creating an account, browsing through the sections for something interesting to participate in (we wont have ONLY philosophical discussions for long, but practical discussions and cooperative initiatives as well) and then joining in one of them (topics, initiatives etc.).

The "projects" could link to a page which nicely lists all of the projects currently part of the Libervis Network plus projects which are officially promoted as in planning or preparation stages.

What might be suboptimal about this introduction is that it may still be slightly too dry or "deep". Or I'm just too paranoid about scaring away the Joe Average? Also, mentioning Seinfeld might or might not be a good idea. Eye

So feel free to do a remix or just let me know what you think. Smiling

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Daniel Memenode signature

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I like that it both

I like that it both describes what libervis is and invites people to join.

The swipe at Seinfeld would be controversial for some, good, no harm in generating a bit of heat if the energy levels rise and more people come into the light.

My gut reaction to the word "help" is that it might be a bit of a turn off, like it's some kind of charity case.

Here's a gratuitous "join the resistance" style draft ;

"As you read this, changes to your life are being planned and implemented. Technology is being used to save lives and to kill, to enrich lives and impoverish, in summary, to alter our freedom. Libervis.com is a community that engage on everything but with a common interest - we all like technology and believe its use should not be at the expense of our freedom. We come together to recognize ways in which this could or is being done and counter them by our own initiatives.

The Libervis.com international community of technology enthusiasts and freedom lovers have many different world views and come from diverse occupations (from engineers and artists to philosophers and entrepreneurs) cooperatively forging ideas and projects which use technology to promote, preserve or restore individual freedom. If you too are not content to let vested interests use technology to limit your freedom, please feel welcome to join in. Share your views, your insights, your hopes and dreams, and if it's your thing, get hands on with a freedom project.

Even if you don't join in, please read some of the essays and discussions, we hope you enjoy your time here."

memenode's picture
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democrates wrote: The swipe
democrates wrote:

The swipe at Seinfeld would be controversial for some, good, no harm in generating a bit of heat if the energy levels rise and more people come into the light.

Actually, it's not a swipe. Seinfeld was really advertised as the show about nothing. Wikipedia agrees: "Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David pitched Seinfeld as a "show about nothing," similar to the self-parodying "show within a show" of Season 4 episodes "The Pilot, Part 1" and "Part 2". Seinfeld stood out from the typical family- or coworker-driven TV sitcoms of its time." Smiling

Of course, "nothing" is in the literal sense quite absolute. That considered the show wasn't exactly about nothing. You could say it was about the life of Jerry, George and friends. From the perspective of the first decade of the 21st century, it's also a nice, if comedic, insight into the way New York was in the now old 90s. Smiling

democrates wrote:

Here's a gratuitous "join the resistance" style draft ;

Nice. Yours is definitely a bit more graphic and honestly, slightly implies people plotting to take away our freedom behind our backs. But then again, you did say "resistance".

Maybe we could compromise a bit, make it shorter, but preserve good parts from both versions. Maybe Taco, a_thing and others could come in with their own suggestions? There's still time to work it out.

democrates wrote:

As you read this, changes to your life are being planned and implemented. Technology is being used to save lives and to kill, to enrich lives and impoverish, in summary, to alter our freedom.

I feel there is a lack of obvious connections here.. For example, someone might wonder how are changes to his/her life being planned and implemented if its his or her own life and he or she should or is the one deciding what to accept or reject. Also saying that changes in your life are being implemented kind of assumes we already know we'll fail at acquiring any influence or control over that process.

Another example, saving/killing or enriching/impoverishing lives doesn't seem obviously related to freedom. It may be obvious to you and me, but people might relate those to many more things than just lack or posession of freedom.

So maybe we should just be more general about that, focus specifically on freedom in the introduction and only the obvious connections. The goal is to have the visitor see if his general ideals fit with what we're about, and we did say that Libervis.com is for people who have same general ideals, general goals, but perhaps different ideas on how to achieve those.

Sorry if I'm being too analytical. I just don't think we need to say as much in the intro. We have the about page to elaborate more, plus all the forums and articles. Smiling

The rest is pretty nicely worded, although I'm not sure about using "vested interests". I'd rather just neutrally say "not content to let technology be used to limit your freedom", regardless of by whom. The thing is, a lot of people who do harm today do mean well or believe are doing a good thing. "Vested interests" implies they believe it is in their interests to restrict freedom whereas they might actually think that what they do improves people's lives - so what do you get - you get a point for discussion, but not sure if it's a good point for an intro. Laughing out loud

Cheers

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Daniel Memenode signature

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Fair enough, submitted mod

Fair enough, submitted mod is a poor fit.
I think you're right to analyse in depth, sales copy from agencies is brainstormed back and forth and subject to no end of head scratching and chin rubbing, it's hard to get this end of marketing just right but it's worth the effort.

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I am a little wary that

I am a little wary that starting off with Seinfeld might not be the best just because I am not sure how ubiquitously it is known. However, it does help set a good, friendly, engaging tone.

I think democrates' draft feels too formal and distant, but I like the conclusion.

Modified draft:
Seinfeld is a show about nothing. Libervis.com is a community about everything, with a twist: we all like technology, but dislike its use in ways that restrict our freedom. So we come together to recognize ways in which this could or is being done and counter them by our own initiatives.

This makes Libervis.com a project of building a community of technology enthusiasts and freedom lovers with many different world views and walks of life to cooperatively forge ideas and projects which use technology to promote, preserve or restore individual freedom. If you can see yourself as part of such a community, you're invited to participate. Share your views, your insights, your hopes and dreams, and if it's your thing, get hands on with a freedom project.

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memenode's picture
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We don't need to use

We don't need to use Seinfeld. It's a matter of removing that first sentence and it wouldn't impact the meaning of what we're saying. However, if we do keep it I can link it to the wikipedia page, the overview part, where it says it is a show about nothing, so even those who don't quite know can get the hint. Smiling

I like your modification.

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Daniel Memenode signature

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a thing wrote: I think
a thing wrote:

I think democrates' draft feels too formal and distant, but I like the conclusion.

That's just the kind of thing an ex-gf used to say :-)

But yes where I was focussed on oppressors the negativity of a strategic war viewpoint tainted it with argument and fear-mongering taking it beyond appeal, while in the last bit I was thinking about the good people out there and some positivity came through. Did I see "freedom project" somewhere else? No idea how that popped into mind, it's weird how arbitrary idea formation seems to be, I never feel like I'm in full control.

Anyway, yours and the original both read a lot easier, more along the lines of "here's what we do, you're welcome to join in", that's a more approachable intro style, I like it far better.

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